A Story about my Aunt Linda's Secret Thanksgiving Recipe

Dear Aunt Linda,

Thanks for sharing the secret recipe for our thanksgiving dinner. I thought you'd enjoy hearing about how it went over in our family. So here is what happened:

First, I was leaving to go do my Thanksgiving shopping, thinking I could slip out of the house unnoticed, but my loves-to-be-domestic college student insists that she comes with me. When I said no, I got the full pout and argument that she would be such a help to me, and "it will be so much more fun to do it together, Mom" line.

Of course, I am thinking about [the secret recipe ingredients] that were on my list, but I have a hard time saying NO to a pouting Lydia.

At the store, I send her every which way trying to get her to a different part of the store while I hunt for the [secret recipe ingredients]. Having never bought them, I was clueless. I hid them in the cart and then met Lydia at the check out lane. Of course, it was there that she noticed the foreign object as it passed thru the hands of the cashier.

Next, I got home (we ran a few other errands) and Phil greets me at the door. I am pretty exhausted at this point. He joyfully tells me to go take a nap, he would have the kids unpack the groceries. Too tired to remember the contraband in my sacks, I went upstairs.

When I got up, I had a near riot situation. Maggie (the fiery child in the bunch) had seen the [secret recipe ingredients]. No way was she having THAT for Thanksgiving.

"But Maggie, Aunt Linda insists that they are the best!"
"Too bad, Mom, they will ruin Thanksgiving!"
 "Mags, trust me on this. They will be great!"
"Not a chance, Mom. It's [the usual] or nothing."

So, I said fine. And I made a 1/2 batch that night for dinner to go with a pork recipe (I will share it with you--I have never tasted shredded pork so good). And guess what??!!! Everyone was floored. They had seconds even.

I had to confess that your secret is out in NJ. I did my best to protect you, but at least they don't know the full recipe. My children are very protective of family recipes, so I think you are safe. They are foodies thru and thru, and spoiled with my homemade food. (I told them you wouldn't give the recipe to Dana until she got married. They said that might just be a good enough reason to get married.)

I am making the [usual food] this year, but NEXT YEAR I will be making your secret recipe!

Much love and thanks,

Polly

Some thought re: staying at home to be a mom

Dear Lori,

Thanks for sharing your convictions in your essay on Facebook a couple of weeks ago. Phil saw it and shared the link with me and I’ve been thinking about how I want to reply.

As I read about your struggles, I am reminded how super thankful I am that, in my life, I never felt bored or ever felt like staying home was repetitive and depressing. I just think that is a huge gift from God that I never had to jump over that hurdle. I know lots of women do face this hurdle, and find it very challenging. For me, while I have had other hurdles (which I should write about sometime) this was not one of them. 

In light of your struggle, I'd like to offer what I hope will be some constructive feedback. 

I think you make a mistake in that your argument, right from the start, focuses on what "studies say is good for kids” rather than looking at it from the perspective of obedience. 

I have found that there is no joy in doing something because of statistical evidence. None. But I have found great joy in doing something because God says so. Again and again, I’ve seen Him totally meet me and provide for me when I try to be obedient, even when it is against my “grain.” The most important question for a woman is this: will we trust Him enough to do what He says?

But if we’re talking about studies and statistics, studies show that it is best for moms to stay home with their kids. Having said that, however, what we’ve seen in South Jersey is that staying home and “being a mom” can be a form of idolatry also.

Perfectionistic, smothering, hovering, stressed out moms that have their kid in every sport possible, obsessively check PowerSchool, argue with teachers over test grades, and worry/gossip/slander other moms isn’t exactly what God has in mind.

But for all that, studies and statistics are a dime a dozen; and they are not the Bible, they are not God's Word. What matters is what God says in His Word about how women should their lives response to the Gospel. That must be the first factor in any decision making process. 

I’m not great with remembering Scriptures, but off the top of my head, w/o looking things up, I know God says women are to be (1) busy at home, (2) to be disciplining other/younger women, (3) to be loving/respecting their husbands. 

Then, Proverbs 31 certainly paints a picture of an industrious and gifted woman who works hard to provide for her children, and to ensure that her husband is honored at the city gates. 

Also a woman is called by God to train up her children; to exercise hospitality (lots of examples of this... not sure if there is a direct command... but it is implied in the description of elders & their wives) and last but not least, to care for the poor.

I am sure there are more, but w/o doing an actual Bible study, those are the first to come to my mind. My point is that there is no shortage here of creative opportunities for a brilliant woman to use her gifts for the glory of God in the world.

You describe struggling with your temperament your whole life, but the work of God is to transform our temperaments by the Holy Spirit. Transformation takes a woman’s whole life, but its worth it. I’ve struggled with things my whole life as well—different things than you have, but they are still struggles. Some things I’m only now seeing the first signs of growth and progress, and I’ve been following the Lord for almost 25 years!

In your case, with this struggle, Bobby is called by God to creatively work with you so that you can find God’s commands joyful. You and Bobby are to work together so that being home with your children (which is your primary calling) is a joy and not a burden, or boring, or drudgery.

That doesn’t mean you can’t, or don’t, do anything else. But there are hundreds of ways you can make your home, and your children, your primary area of ministry and service to Christ and still use your amazing brain. Keep in mind, we can be great examples to our children without necessarily “going to work” every day.

Also, I would caution you about talking as you do of other women being judgmental. I know that can be a problem among women, especially in this area. But the way you express it might leave the reader the impression that you don’t want others to stay anything contrary to what you think or say. 

I know ladies can be judgmental; I’ve been guilty of that myself at times. But think about this: why is it that our men can "hold each other accountable," (an acceptable thing, and something we encourage them to do) but if women do any sort of rebuke, holding out of truth, or offer input and even correction to another woman, it is somehow seen to be “judgmental" and the relationship is forever severed. Not fair, not right.

We can do better than that as women.

I hope this is helpful to you and the others who have read and responded to your note. Thanks again for sharing honestly.

Pictures of the Kids this Summer

Here are some pictures of the trip we took with the family to the Poconos. It was a lot of fun; we got to include Lydia's friend Mark, Fitch's friend Nathan, our dog Rocket, and other extended family on the Giancola side.

Efforts to Make Lunch Packing Easier

1. Set out a sandwich making station each morning
2. Keep muffins, cookie dough, brownie bites in freezer
3. Put lots of snacks in baggies in the pantry ready to grab (rather than having to bag it in the morning)
4. Pre-bag baby carrots and sliced cucumbers
5. Fill 4 oz storage containers containers with items that I would normally buy pre-packaged
1. pudding
2. jello (mixed with crushed pineapple or cool whip)
3. apple sauce
4. yogurt (from the big containers which is cheaper than the little ones)
5. pineapple chunks
6. Keep hard boiled eggs on hand
7. And I finally broke down and started buying Capri-Suns!!!

After School Snack Ideas

1. ½ bagel with cream cheese
2. cookies
3. frozen grapes
4. banana muffins (or other muffins)
5. jello (w/ pineapple?)
6. hot chocolate with marshmallows
7. caramel popcorn
8. plain popcorn
9. meat and cheese roll ups
10. apple sauce
11. fruit kabobs
12. english muffin pizzas
13. frozen pizza (cut in strips)
14. graham crackers with nutella (or frosting)
15. graham crackers dipped in apple sauce
16. rice crispy treats
17. cracker with melted cheese dipped in salsa
18. string cheese
19. easy mac-n-cheese
20. apple slices dipped in peanut butter (or caramel)
21. nachos (make a cheese sauce or sprinkle cheese and micro)
22. veggies with ranch or hummus
23. cereal with milk
24. cheese cubes with fruit
25. wheat toast w/ ham or cinnamon/sugar
26. pickles
27. olives
28. microwave quesadilla (cheese, beans or refried beans)
29. chips and salsa or guacamole
30. yogurt (with granola and/or fruit)
31. rice cake with nutella and/or peanut butter
32. toast with mix of cream cheese/jam
33. grilled peanut butter/banana sandwich or grilled pb&j
34. smoothies
35. deviled eggs
36. pretzels with chocolate dip
37. celery with cream cheese or peanut butter
38. tuna melt on a ritz cracker
39. ramen soup
40. instant oatmeal packets
41. cottage cheese with Lawry’s seasoning salt
42. pudding
43. cheese/pepperoni crackers
44. broiled cheese bread
45. waffle or pancake with peanut butter/banana
46. frozen fish sticks
47. french fries or tator tots
48. biscuit (pillsbury or biscuik) with butter/honey